1: You, Grief and me.
Grief, what is it? An emotional response to losing someone very close to you who you had a physical, social and soul connection to.
Dead. The very word dead is so final. So overwhelming like a thick dark cloud that affects your physical, cognitive, behavioural, social, and philosophical dimensions of who you fundamentally are. It affects the essence of who you are to the core.
I recently touched upon this. Nothing like the people in the family however my best friend recently lost her mama very quickly and out of the blue to some degree. I know I wasn't prepared for this and so I cannot begin to imagine how she feels. As I'm typing this I'm filling up. Filling up with not only heart ache for her mama who died, but for my friend. I've never heard her cry like that, she scared me to my core, and I could feel and touch her pain. As a therapist I deal with this a lot of the time and I can technically teach you ways in dealing with these emotions, give expert advice on how to ‘cope’ better in life with death, and how to move on with life in a positive way. You'll never get over pain like this however you can learn to accept it and let it have space in your heart, as the pain will always be breathing and needing space within. However, you can coexist with pain and still have a meaningful and full life.
Time is the key here. Time support and guidance.
At the moment I need to give her time to mourn, time to cry, and then one day when she needs a cuddle from somebody different, I'll be there. She will never forget her amazing mama, none of us will. She just needs to create space in her heart for this new feeling to co-exist with her and eventually get back to living. This will be hard and is for everyone who loses somebody connected to their soul. My advice is this; take time and be kind to yourself. Eventually accept this dark feeling which will take place within your heart, then like a tiny pebble, take that first step to thinking positively about your life again. Soon you will find another tiny pebble to add to yours and you can keep growing through the pain. Reach out and ask for help, we all need it when going through grief. I know tonight I will be hugging my mama and feeling grateful for the love she brings to me. I will also continue to think about my best friend and her mama, waiting patiently for that day when she is ready to find her first tiny pebble of hope.